The Workplace Coach

Tell me if this sounds like you.

“I need to have a conversation with Maryanne about her performance recently. I’ve noticed a significant drop in her output, her energy and enthusiasm, the level of care she’s putting into her work. If I’m honest, her attitude around the office has really changed in the last month or so. It’s starting to affect the rest of the team, and I need to address this with her sooner rather than later.“

What if I give it another week to see if it sorts itself out?
What if I accidentally upset her and she decides to take some time off?
What if its personal and she doesn’t want to talk about it?
What if I can’t help?
What if it’s none of my business?
What if she blames me or my leadership style?
What if…

Many of my clients hold back from having the conversations that they need to have because of the “What ifs…”. Sometimes it’s procrastination but more often it’s uncertainty about what the other person might say, and nervousness about how to respond. Usually this means that the necessary discussion either never happens, or it does happen but feels weird for both sides. As the manager, if you go into the exchange feeling weird and anxious then the other person is almost guaranteed to feel weird and anxious too.

This might help.

1. State upfront that you are having the conversation because you are genuinely concerned and want to help.
2. Tell Maryanne about your observations lately and ask whether there is something that she wants to talk about.
3. Then just listen and ask more questions.
4. Listen some more and ask more questions.
5. When you run out of questions ask one more “What can I do to help?”
6. Then just listen.
7. Confirm that you understand and check that what you propose to do to help is okay with her.
8. Thank her for sharing and book a time to catch up again next week.

This first conversation is not a discussion around Maryanne’s performance or output. This is a check in to see if she is okay and what she needs from you. You want to listen more than you talk.

Remember that these types of conversations are not tennis matches. In tennis when someone hits the ball down the court towards you, you have to move quickly to return the ball, and you have to hit it just right to get it back over the net and inside the line. In these conversations though you don’t have to run to get the ball back.

We aren’t scoring points here though, and you can just let the ball (or in this case whatever Maryanne might respond with) just sail on past you. Take your time to respond. It never hurts to show that you are thinking about your words. You might even say “Look can I come back to you later on that?”

The point is that you are better off having the necessary conversation now, like today, rather than letting the issue drag on or go unaddressed. You being proactive and initiating the discussion with Maryanne shows her that you care about her and are interested in helping her, and it shows clear leadership to both her and the rest of the team.

If you are ready to have that discussion and would like to talk it through before booking that meeting, just reach out to us at The Workplace Coach and let us help you make it a positive experience for all involved.