The Workplace Coach

It can be easy for us to critique someone’s work or provide what we like to call ‘constructive feedback’. However just because it’s easy doesn’t mean that we do it well. Often, that constructive feedback will not be received as the motivational, inspirational and remarkably educative message that it was intended to be. Well intentioned feedback delivered poorly will hurt the relationship rather than build it. Essentially, the opposite of what you were trying to do.

Have you ever noticed how people light up when you say something nice to them? 

I met someone today for the first time on a zoom call. We had a solid conversation about some real workplace issues, including a specific somewhat difficult situation she was dealing with at work.  We chatted for about 30 minutes and when it came time to end the call, I had a couple of options.  I could have said “Okay well thank you, I appreciate your time today and I look forward to our next meeting”.  This would have been perfectly acceptable way to end the call, right?  A nice polite, appreciative and positive closing statement.     

Instead, here is what I went with… “So I’m conscious of the time and I appreciate that you are very busy… can I just say that it was an absolute pleasure meeting you today?  I really enjoyed our discussion and I’m looking forward to our next one”. Can you guess where in that closing line her face just lit up?  That’s right, “…it was an absolute pleasure meeting you.”  Was it a true statement?  Absolutely. Did I actually need to say that? Not at all, but the reaction I got was 100% worth it. 

In the words of Maya Angelou “people may soon forget the words you say… but they never forget how your words make them feel.”  So how can we use this same principle when giving feedback to our people?

Almost every organisation will have some kind of rewards and recognition policy or program.  These tend to focus on formal awards, CEO commendations and that sort of thing.  There is a heap of research that points towards informal recognition being where you are going to get the real bang for your buck.  

According to Gallup’s analysis, only one in three workers in the U.S. strongly agree that they received recognition or praise for doing good work in the past seven days. At any given company, it’s not uncommon for employees to feel that their best efforts are routinely ignored. Further, employees who do not feel adequately recognized are twice as likely to say they’ll quit in the next year.

The data also shows that the most meaningful and memorable recognition comes from the immediate manager, and that public recognition or acknowledgement is valued above any kind of monetary reward.  So as managers, instead of always looking for reasons to correct our people, we would be better off actively looking for any opportunity to praise them for what they are doing well.

Here are 5 principles to remember when giving feedback:

1. Recognise and praise the behaviours, results and attitudes that you want to see more of.
2. Praise in public, always correct/coach in private.
3. It has to be 100% genuine and authentic.
4. It needs to be in the moment, not weeks or months after the event.
5. Share the love across the whole team, not just your start performer.

In closing, praising people might not be your style.  It may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first but I encourage you to stay with it and practice every day.  It doesn’t have to be a big grand gesture, in fact it’s the small off-the-cuff comments that often have the biggest impact.  The more you get in the habit of finding reasons to praise, compliment or recognise your people, the fewer reasons they will give you to correct them.  Its funny how that works.

The Workplace Coach