A senior manager recently came to me with a dilemma. One of their team leaders – technically competent, but socially awkward – had been the subject of a complaint. A female colleague reported that his behaviour felt inappropriate, potentially of a sexual nature.
The manager did the right thing: they conducted a preliminary assessment. No evidence of misconduct emerged. Yet the issue wasn’t resolved. The leader’s lack of self‑awareness, combined with possible cultural differences in how he interacts with women, meant that the risk of future complaints – and erosion of team trust – remained.
So, what do you do when behaviour isn’t malicious but the impact is harmful?
Step One: Address the Behaviour, Not the Verdict
The conversation with the leader must be private, respectful, and direct. It’s not about proving guilt or innocence. It’s about clarifying that in leadership, impact matters more than intent.
A useful opener:
“Some colleagues have shared that certain interactions with you have caused them to feel uncomfortable. In your role, it’s essential to recognise that your leadership is measured not only by intention but also by the impact your behaviour has on others.”
This reframes the issue away from blame and towards accountability.
Step Two: Set Clear Guardrails
Leaders need clarity. Spell out what is expected, and what is off‑limits.
For example:
- No comments on appearance.
- Keep conversations work‑focused unless invited otherwise.
- Avoid physical contact unless it’s a standard professional greeting.
- Hold one‑on‑ones in visible spaces.
- Limit after‑hours communication to urgent matters.
Document the conversation and the agreed standards. This protects both the organisation and the individual.
Step Three: Build Capability, Not Just Compliance
Awkwardness and cultural blind spots don’t disappear overnight. Development is essential:
- Training: Respectful workplace conduct, unconscious bias, and cultural awareness.
- Coaching: One‑on‑one sessions to build emotional intelligence, empathy, and self‑regulation.
- Mentoring: Pair him with a senior leader who models inclusive behaviour.
- Feedback loops: Short, confidential check‑ins and 360‑style feedback to track progress.
Frame this as professional growth, not punishment.
Step Four: Protect the Team
The complainant must feel safe and supported. Offer confidential check‑ins, reinforce anti‑retaliation protections, and remind the whole team of respectful workplace standards. A short “reset” session on boundaries and inclusion can help normalise expectations without singling anyone out.
Step Five: Monitor and Escalate if Needed
Set a 60–90 day development plan with milestones. If progress is made, acknowledge it. If not, escalate through formal disciplinary channels. The message should be clear: respectful conduct is non‑negotiable.
The Coaching Takeaway
For senior managers, the lesson is this: not every complaint will uncover misconduct, but every complaint signals a gap in trust or safety. Leaders who are technically strong but socially unaware can still cause harm. Your role is to intervene early, set clear expectations, and invest in their growth – while never compromising the safety and dignity of your people.
Let’s chat. Reach out to The Workplace Coach today and explore how coaching can elevate your own leadership style and help you be even more effective in your role.
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