I was interviewing someone the other day in relation to their complaint about a colleague. In a nutshell the claim was that the colleague had been behaving inappropriately towards them over an extended period of time, and that it was now impacting their health and wellbeing. I have to say, in my experience, being treated with disrespect, being devalued and put down in front of others, receiving aggressive emails or messages, or even being excluded and ignored is going to have a negative impact on your health and wellbeing.
I have no doubt that this person was not enjoying their interactions with the other person, and they were clearly carrying around a bunch of stress about it, but my role was to ascertain whether or not there had been any bullying or harassment. I needed to get into the detail, explore specific interactions, review email exchanges and really look at the behaviours which might constitute misconduct and/or a safety issue in the workplace.
We then talked at length about the many interactions which had left this person feeling undervalued, unappreciated and as though they were being picked on. Often the power imbalance between a manager and an employee can lead to feelings of powerlessness, or a view that the manager might be unnecessarily exercising positional power over the more junior employee.
This case however was more about the interactions between peers. They were both at the same level but in different teams, and neither had positional power over the other. This came down to how they interacted with each other and how those interactions made this person feel. I will say that on the surface it seemed like it might be more of difference in communication style that was the problem rather than any systematic bullying and harassment.
The other person (the respondent in this case) had a very different personality to the complainant. She had a tendency to be fairly blunt, skipped over the normal small talk that lubricates most workplace interactions, and had a tendency to call it like she saw it with little consideration for how it might be received by the other person. She wasn’t setting out to be abrasive, intimidating or rude but that was exactly how she was coming across.
So what did my complainant do about it? She felt sufficiently intimidated that she didn’t feel like she could tackle this head on, so she went to her manager. Her manager spoke to the other person’s manager, who then spoke to the respondent and this did result in a positive change in behaviour… for a time.
The old adage about a leopard not changing their spots is true in many cases and true to form, my respondent went back to communicating in the same way as she has probably done her whole career. It has served her well, she gets results, and let’s face it, there is some part of her that likes knowing she can intimidate other people.
So now what?
The bottom line is this. Most organisations have a set of organisational values which guide the behaviours in the company. Normally these values will include things like respect, integrity, teamwork, excellence, innovation and client service. You might see them painted on the wall in the office or highlighted on the website, immortalised in the Annual Report, included as a tag line in every job advertisement.
Most organisations will also have a code of conduct or a performance management policy that allows them to deal with behaviours which don’t align with the organisational values. Do most organisations exercise this authority? Some do, some don’t. Some managers will insist on compliance, and some won’t.
If you want to send a loud clear message to your people about the type of team culture you want, just be sure not to do anything to address observed bad behaviour in the workplace. It tells the bullies that they can get away with being bullies, it tells the gossips that its all good to spread stories, it tells the harassers that they don’t need to worry about being called out for their behaviour.
If you are a manager and are unsure about how to deal with undesirable behaviours in your team why not get The Workplace Coach to give you a hand?
If you are someone being affected by bad behaviours in the workplace, and you’ve tried everything to get it handled, it might be time to start looking for an organisation where that stuff is not tolerated. As they say in the business, a toxic workplace is more likely to change you than you are to change it.
The Workplace Coach 
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