The Workplace Coach

I don’t know if you’ve ever had one of those family gatherings where the extended family gets together for the first time in a long time, and nobody has either forgiven or forgotten the debacle of the last one?  Maybe it’s just my family?  I remember one particular Christmas many years ago where my Dad and his brother (my uncle) were seated at opposite ends of the table and I’m not even sure we got through the first course before it started.  Next thing I knew the whole thing erupted and a minute later we had the soft sound of at least one grandmother weeping in the middle of a stunned silence from everyone else.  They say blood is thicker than water but thankfully we didn’t see any that day.  

So what about when these rivalries pop up in the workplace? How are we supposed to deal with colleagues, co-workers, bosses and team members who just push our buttons day after day? We surely have a list of organisational values, expected behaviours and maybe even a Code of Conduct but seriously… if Jason interrupts me just one more time while I’m speaking…

I don’t want to give away too many secrets here because a good chunk of my work revolves around investigating instances of bad behaviour, digging into what happened and why, and then coaching people and teams for improved performance.  I will however share this one thing, if you are starting to feel that pressure cooker inside your head building up some steam then please talk to someone today.  I have seen too many times the accumulation of frustration, anger and resentment suddenly get released in what is usually very uncharacteristic behaviour. 

There is no excuse for exploding at work.  There is no excuse for bullying or harassing or white-anting or gaslighting at work.  There is no excuse for resorting to schoolyard tactics, or throwing a tantrum, or communicating like a teenager who has just had their wifi access removed.  There is no excuse for any of it but I do understand why it happens.

I’ve talked before about trust being the foundation for high performing teams. Trust is complex, it takes time to build but can be wiped out in an instant.  Trust is about believing that everyone in the team is acting for the good of the team, rather than in their own self-interest.  Trust is about feeling safe to be vulnerable, to be wrong, to make mistakes, to admit that you don’t know something without the fear that it will be used against you.  Trust is about being able to engage in conflict without it damaging the relationship.  Here is a very short clip from Patrick Lencioni on trust in teams.

In a perfect world everyone would just get along.  The reality is that MOST teams will have some trust issues affecting their performance, and its better to be upfront and deal with these than hope and pray that they either go away or that they sort themselves out.  There are probably some people in your team right now that are either looking for the exit, or they are hoping someone else in the team will resign, move on or get hit by the number 43 bus.  My advice is to acknowledge the problem and start working on it now, before it starts to manifest as a health and wellbeing concern.  

If you would like some help with your team or perhaps some one on one coaching towards building trust in your team, then contact The Workplace Coach today to explore what options might be right for you. 

The Workplace Coach